Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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