....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
