Soap is not a condiment
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
