he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
