I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
