I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
