im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
