tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
