I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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