I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize