If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
