Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
