Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
