Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Need sex. Gaining weight.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
