We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
