Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
