come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
