marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
