I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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