I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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