You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
