I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
