I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
