I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize