you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My vagina is officially offended.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
