My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I had to cum in my sink.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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