her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
