we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The air taste purple.
Randomize
