That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
