dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ketchup is God's man juice
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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