Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
