I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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