Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
