Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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