just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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