Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
