on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
