I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
