mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
