like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you win again, gameday.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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