Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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