Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
