So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
