At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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