shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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