I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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