He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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