He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
