Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
