Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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