So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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