why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
