its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
