that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
