she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
