He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
