i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
