I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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