One girl and one boy is just not enough.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
