in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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