I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
