You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
