Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
