I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
