I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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