Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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