I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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