But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
